


Don't Tell Me

by AllyThePotato



Series: And Why Is That? [12]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Flashbacks, Fluff, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:08:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29966142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyThePotato/pseuds/AllyThePotato
Summary: It's the before soDon't tell me you love me—Because it hurts.Just show me—I want to feel it.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: And Why Is That? [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181036
Comments: 43
Kudos: 34





	Don't Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohjeezglee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjeezglee/gifts), [backslashdelta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/gifts), [Carmex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmex/gifts).



> Part 12. This one was difficult to write. It's set in the before until the end, and I hope its not confusing—I'm rambling...Slight snapshots of their relationships Before. 
> 
> For Anna and Sim and Becky

_ It's the before so _

_ Don't tell me you love me— _

_ Because it hurts. _

_ Just show me— _

_ I want to feel it. _

Blaine's fingers ghosted over Kurt's face, smiling sleepily. Kurt's lips lifted into the smallest of smiles, his eyes half lidded. He leaned in and kissed Blaine, chastely. Blaine leaned in again, one more time, kissed Kurt. "That was amazing," he whispered. He nudged Kurt's leg with his, the sheets shifting with the movement. "Woah."

Kurt chuckled. "Yeah, it was. I love you."

Blaine pulled Kurt a little bit closer, closed his eyes. "I love you, too." 

_ It's the before so _

_ Don't tell you need me— _

_ Because I needed you first. _

_ Just smile— _

_ I'm going to miss this. _

Blaine sighed in relief as Sebastian brought him a bowl of soup. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," Blaine said, before breaking into a coughing fit. Sebastian laughed, ignoring Blaine's glare.

"If I get sick I'm kicking your ass, hobbit," Sebastian snapped, but there was no malice behind it. Blaine rolled his eyes and started eating his soup, literally  _ moaning  _ with the first bite. 

"Bas," he said quietly, almost reverently. "Did you make this yourself?" 

Sebastian nodded, not looking at Blaine. "Yeah, I did." 

"You have real talent—are you sure you want to be a lawyer...because this—"

Sebastian's head snapped up quickly, almost startling Blaine. But he deflated, and Blaine didn't miss the sadness in his eyes when he said, "Yeah, I'm happy being a lawyer." 

Blaine didn't press the issue. "Well, thank you. This is delicious."

Sebastian smirked. "Yeah, well I may need you to return the favor one day." 

_ It's the before so _

_ Don't tell me you want me— _

_ Because it's too much to bear. _

_ Just take me— _

_ You know you can. _

Blaine's back was against their bedroom door, Kurt pressed into him, kissing the skin on his neck. "Fuck," Blaine quietly moaned, lifting his head so Kurt could gain more access. 

"I want you so bad," Kurt whispered in his ear, pressing his thigh between Blaine's legs. Blaine gasped, squeezing his eyes at the friction. "You want it too, don't you?" 

They'd never been quite like this before, so heated, heavy—Blaine had never come so undone so quickly. He pressed against Kurt's thigh, moving his hips against it, desperate for relief.

"Take me—I'm yours." 

Kurt stilled, his teeth biting almost painfully into Blaine's shoulder. "Mine?"

"Take me, Kurt. I'm yours. All yours."

Kurt didn't waste another second.

_ It's the before so _

_ Don't tell me there's nothing wrong— _

_ Because you know it's not true. _

_ Just ignite me— _

_ How the mighty fall. _

"Leave me alone, Blaine," Sebastian yelled, pushing away from him. "Why can't you just let it go?" 

Blaine threw the application onto Sebastian's kitchen table. "Why are you doing something you don't want to do?" 

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "I'm  _ fine _ . Why can't you accept that?"

"Because you're miserable! You don't like your life, Bas. Why can't you  _ admit  _ it?" 

Sebastian's eyes were ablaze, with anger and stubbornness and indignation. "Because you're  _ wrong _ ," he yelled, marching over to where Blaine was standing. "I'm fine. Now leave me alone."

Blaine picked up the papers, handed them to Sebastian. "At least consider it."

Sebastian snatched them out of Blaine's hands. Blaine watches the tears well up, the flush rise in his cheeks. He wanted it. But in a flash, the emotion was gone and Sebastian was ripping the application in half. "I want you to leave." 

Blaine nodded, lips pursed, looking into Sebastian's eyes. They were so close, Blaine could smell him. Lavender. "How long are you going to pretend, Sebastian?" 

Sebastian's eyes flashed. "I don't want you to ever bring this up again. Please. I can't—just...I need to keep my job. I like to argue." 

Blaine nodded again. Sebastian wanted him to pretend like everything was fine. Stop telling him he needed to be happy. It twisted his gut, but still, he said, "Okay."

Sebastian wasn't looking at him. "Please leave, Blaine."

This time Blaine did, leaving Sebastian and the ruined application for Culinary School behind him. 

_ And there's a break in our pattern— _

_ Of love and lust and tears— _

_ And I feel shattered— _

_ Because I can't find you here— _

_ And I suppose it's all my fault— _

_ Little things I didn't notice— _

_ I didn't want to know— _

_ Preferred the temporary bliss— _

_ The peace of The Before. _

Not long after that things seemed to change. With Sebastian.

Sebastian stopped coming around—blaming it on work or exhaustion. Kurt assured him that nothing was wrong, that his absence had nothing to do with Blaine. But it still ate Blaine up inside. 

It had been so sudden, his withdrawal. He thought the argument had been let go. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he pushed too hard. 

Kurt, too. Kurt seemed a little distant, in a way Blaine couldn't place. Couldn't pinpoint the problem, but it was there. And there it remained, growing, festering.

Kurt had stopped initiating. Blaine never said anything.

And he smelled like—

Lavender. Blaine ignored it until he couldn’t.

Sebastian's hickeys—

...Kurt's hickeys.

How much could he take—

How long until the dam breaks?

Until he's the glass that shattered on the floor.

How did all of these little moments add up?

Why do they matter?

In The Before, Blaine had everything and he never meant to take it for granted. He had love and life and friends and trust.

In The After—

Blaine supposes nothing is made to last.   
  



End file.
